Communication in relationships

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques rather than from our own inner core, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

— Stephen R. Covey

There are so many platforms though which we can access people and express our feelings and ideas .due to technological exploits we have easy and accessible ways of reaching people in every part of the world bottom line is communication in this era is easier compared to some years back. From open to private chat rooms, facebook, twitter, instagram, ebuddy, Nimbuzz, bbm, whatsapp and many others you just name it. This is relatively essential even though what most people write on these social networks is guff.

To communicate is the sharing of feelings or ideas to someone. If one person communicates with another successfully they make each other aware of their feelings and ideas. Collins dictionary also defines rapport as a good relationship between two people or groups which they are able to understand each others ideas or feelings. These are the keywords feelings and ideas, you must be able to express and do it well. Paying attention to the small moments and investing them with attention and importance can make a big difference toward a couple’s overall satisfaction in their relationship.

A relationship is a connection and exchange between people. Communication plays a large role in the exchange between people. It exchanges information in the form of ideas, wants, desires, feelings, and much more. Incomplete or stopped communication can create a block in the relationship.

A communication avoidance or stop will prevent that topic from being shared and gone through. The relationship can be considered to be a living entity just as each one of us is living. There has to be a continuous flow of energy through each and every living entity. The flow is between each partner of the relationship and between the relating partners and the environment. Just as in an individual body, when the energy is blocked or stopped, a disease or illness starts to develop. The key for a healthy and growing relationship is to keep the communications flowing.
Another form of communication is the non verbal.The nonverbal communication can be even trickier. People put a lot of communication into nonverbal forms. This is especially true when people are approaching new romantic situations. Many people are not comfortable verbalizing enough of the romantic details. So the approach to romance is mostly through nonverbal signals. However, when the flow is broken, if the reason is not sufficiently verbalized, (such as, “I would love to …, but right now because of …) then the break is often taken as a permanent “no” or stop. This is why many people feel that they have only one chance as they enter a new relationship. In our part of the world when a woman requests for sex the mindset is that she is bad but women take longer to come to terms with these feeling. A woman takes a whole day to psychologically prepare for sex and it takes men a few minutes to do same.this perception makes it difficult for women to ask for sex. You should be able to break that barrier between you and your woman so she easily communicates when she wants sex.

If you recognize that you are having difficulty in starting a communication topic, there are a variety of ways to get it going. If you can’t say what you need to, you may be able to write it instead.

However, paying attention is an important half of communication. Communication is part giving and part receiving. Both parts are necessary by both partners for good communications. Some people are good listeners and some are good talkers, but both partners have to do both for complete and effective communication. Communications can be stopped on both sides, by avoidance of the giving or telling, and by avoidance of the receiving. Attention has to be given to both sides of communication to insure that the communication remains completed by both partners and that stops or blocks are addressed and released to allow the relationship to grow in a healthy fashion.

Communication undoubtedly plays a foundation role in the development of any healthy relationship, and it often serves to bridge the gap between people with misunderstandings, or to solidify a mutual sense of commitment. Indeed, communication plays a critical role in all phases of interpersonal relations, from incipience to maintenance.

The ability to tell each other thoughts, feelings and wants is so important to a relationship. Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. Without oil in the car, internal parts will burn up and the car will be ready for the scrap pile. Communication is important!

There are no mind readers. For a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be said. If a couple’s communication is restricted, the relationship is destined for major problems down the road. We take cars for oil changes to keep them going strong, why not seek a professional’s assistance to change our communication patterns in order to keep the relationship in tip top shape just like our cars?

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Monica Otumfuor