Jealousy:love spice or extinguisher?

Jealousy

You know that kind of feeling when it seems something valuable of yours is been taken away from you and you could probably do anything to get it back yeah…………jealousy. Let’s get conversational in terms of your relationship. Often times we wonder why we have feelings that are described as jealousy relating to our partners. jealousy as defined by the Collins dictionary is the  feeling of anger and bitterness which someone has when they think that another person is trying to take a lover, friend or is trying to take a possession away from them. It can also be defined as an emotion as a result of anger, insecurity, anxiety and an anticipated loss of something. Our main focus is romantic jealousy which occurs between lovers or two people who are romantically involved.

This jealousy is experienced when one partner spends time with another person and gives more attention to that person. You must understand that it is not wrong to be jealous but what it results in makes it bad. When you are jealous it only means that something very valuable of yours is been taken away. It’s not advisable to express your jealousy although some people try to get attention by trying to evoke jealousy from their partner to get attention..

There are many reasons why we feel jealous but the core reason is an anticipated loss of something that means we are mostly not certain of losing it but we fear to loose it. Another very relevant reason is insecurity, it makes you feel anxious and you might react badly to your partner. You must try as much as possible to stay calm when you feel insecure and in a relaxed moment with your partner discreetly inquire about your insecurities and try not brood over it. You must not assume anything without concrete proof and don’t think that person is anyway better than you. Quit the comparison and don’t end up imitating the person to compete because your partner chose you over that person . Your partner saw something special about you and there is a love factor in it so relax and enjoy your relationship than brooding over assumptions. Not with standing this you should keep yourself in check on your outward look and something you are doing wrong that is pushing your partner away and correct it to make your partner happy to be with you.

source

Monica Otumfuor

There are some people who are natural flirts, if you realize that your partner is that type you should not feel jealous when they flirt but try and talk to them to reduce it. You should try to accept it or be swallowed by the one eyed green monster (jealousy)  and end up destroying your relationship. When you realize your partner is jealous  you don’t shout it to their face. You must make them feel secured and assure them of your love. Talk with a calm voice and try to relieve them of their anxiety and how special he or she is to you. Jealous partners will shout at you and blame you for everything but you have to remain calm and listen .After listening give assurance and insist confidence and lover for your partner. All in one view you must build your relationship on trust to avoid jealousy breaking into it. Remember that “the whispers of love will echo long after the shouts of jealousy fade.”