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When to go for ‘off the shelf’ sex! – Vanguard Nigeria sex


When to go for ‘off the shelf’ sex! – Vanguard Nigeria sex

Ray was in his rented apartment and in a pensive mood.  The rent would soon be due and he was damned if he knew where his next Naira was coming from.

Feeding on remnants that would make a beggar squirm, he suddenly heard a rap on his door.  Might be another friend wanting a freebie so he didn’t answer the door.

“Rayyy …” an excited female voice called. Suddenly, Ray sprang from where he was sitting – his spirit up. It was a friend of several years at the door. Marian, in her late forties was married to a very rich older man.  She had this arrangement with Ray where she dropped by any time she was `free’ to play house.

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True to the agreement, she came laden with all manner of foodstuffs.  In a short while, she’d whipped up an amazing pot of stew, some foodstuffs to go with it and a couple of wines chilling in the fridge.

“By the time she left, I’d had my  most decent meal in weeks, more foodstuffs to last a few months and enough money to pay the rent. As she got ready to leave, I asked her when next to expect her, and she shrugged. Fool me, to have asked.  I knew the rules, but I left used somehow.  The relationship has always been on her terms and she’s so generous I couldn’t ask her to go and take a jump.

Toy boys used to be a joke thing, but these days, they’re not called that any more – they’re known as joy boys. They don’t stand around on street corners with hand bags”, observed Kate, a constant user of joy boy, ‘they lurk around posh parties and gatherings and try to convince that they fancy the pants off them. And they look for obvious targets – bored society w9omen with a lot of money to burn.

“Thanks to such , I could get a man any time I want – just like a supermarket. So when I find the one I fancy, I pay the price and take `it’ home. If `it’ lives up to expectations, I keep `it’ for a couple of weeks, give `it’ a bonus and put `it’ back on the shelf for someone else to sample, I never keep in touch and don’t get involved with his life. Some people think this is sad or even shocking, but it suits me.

“I’ve seen a lot of my friends get their hearts broken because they fell for men who only wanted their money – any sane woman must wonder why a good looking young man who could get any girl is chasing after a woman old enough to be his mother. So, I make it clear from the start that I don’t want any lies or promises, just a good time. If they keep their part of the bargain, I give them a nice little present at the end of it. Then I go home and forget about it till the next time”.

“I think it is about time this society had male brothels – what you call agencies abroad”, observed a rich female politician who says she’s a sex addict.  “It’ll make sex readily available for women looking for nothing but pure fun.

As long as you’re not looking for a faithful or a permanent relationship, you can have a great time.  It’s when you start to believe the lies that it can all go horribly wrong. I detest the `love you’ con.  I know of so many women of all ages who have fallen for it, parted with huge sums of money to help the con men’s business, or whatever, only to find out they never meant any more than hard cash to their supposed loved ones.

It must be soul-destroying to discover that what you thought was a loving relationship was a complete lie from the start to finish. It is fraud or deception and it should be made illegal, with hard sentences for those found guilty.

To see women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s and 70s being exploited by these gigolos who get their money by deception, is sad. What these young studs need is a good, reputable madam to organise their services in a way in which both sides would profit – open and above board, with good advice on safe sex, regular /AIDS and STD testing and a good income plan – so they can stop being so desperate.

“Anyone who has had sex with a toy boy has paid for it one way or another”, observed Chinyere, a fairly successful lawyer.  “Yes, I have paid for a good session from time to time, and yes, it is worth it. The way I see it, I like a good bottle of wine, so I don’t buy plonk. When I can afford it, I even treat myself  to the odd bottle of chilled champagne – that is quality stuff. It’s the same with sex.

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“A few years ago, I had the opportunity of meeting a virgin. When I met the chap, he was shy and naïve, in spite of his physique and good looks. I never realised he was a virgin, if I had, I might have thought twice about bedding him. Still, it was worth it just to see the way he got excited when he got to my bedroom. Before I knew it, it was over.

“A couple of weeks later, he was doing quite well. He was a quick learner and always trying to please. Before long, we were on four or five times a night. Unfortunately, he had some smart Alex friends teaching him how to get the most from our relationship.  It wasn’t long before he was talking about buying a car. So hat was the end of a beautiful relationship. He can find someone else to practice his newly acquired skills on. It would take a better man than him to part me from my hard-earned cash.

“After all said and done, paying for the services of a joy boy is very gratifying. No matter how old you are, or what you look like, if you can’t score with a joy boy in spite of your money, it is time to order the coffin.  But then, if you get one who can keep going all night, you might have to do that anyway. What a way to go”.


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